High-Performance Engine Maintenance: A Gifted Woman's Guide to Life’s Oil Leaks.
September arrives like a bittersweet symphony—my favorite month, painted in golden light and crisp promise, yet shadowed by anniversaries that still make my chest tighten. It's the month of my birth and yet, the month of some of my most difficult memories. There are a handful of dates that make me give side-eye to the calendar and September has a few.
This paradox taught me something crucial about being a gifted woman: We need to treat ourselves like the high-performance vehicles we are, especially when we know rough terrain lies ahead, and the only one remembering is us.
The High-Performance Reality
Gifted women aren't just "smart"—we're complex systems running multiple processes simultaneously in our minds. We think faster, feel deeper, and process more information than the average person day in and day out. Like a finely-tuned sports car, we can achieve remarkable things, but we also burn fuel differently. We run hotter, we need more refined input. We're more sensitive to changes in pressure, temperature, and terrain.
And sometimes, we spring leaks. Or we burn oil. Or we malfunction, ever so slightly, but because we are moving faster and with more horsepower, disaster arrives much more swiftly and painfully than it would for our typical neighbor.
When I know September is coming—with its beautiful contradictions and collection of emotional landmines—I don't pretend I'm a sturdy pickup truck that can barrel through anything. Instead, I acknowledge what I am: a high-performance machine that needs specialized care, especially when I'm already running low on emotional oil.
Packing Extra: The Art of Proactive Self-Care
When you know your high-performance engine is leaking oil, you pack extra. You don't wait until the warning lights start flashing. For gifted women facing difficult periods, this means:
Building Emotional Reserves Before You Need Them
Schedule downtime before the storm hits, not after. I leave myself lots of gaps between commitments in case I need to “reset” myself.
Stock up on your favorite comfort items—books, tea, that particular blanket—and keep them close.
Schedule extra check-ins with loved ones, remind them you may need some support.
Create a "emotional first aid kit" with things or practices that reliably soothe your particular nervous system (we are all different).
Reducing Unnecessary Load
Say no to optional commitments during your challenging season.
Delegate what can be delegated at work and at home.
Lower your standards for non-essential or daily grind-type tasks (yes, cereal for dinner counts as meal planning).
Give yourself permission to be "less productive" temporarily, you can get back up when the worst is over.
Monitoring the Gauges: Emotional Intelligence as Dashboard Awareness
High-performance cars have sophisticated dashboard systems for a reason—they need more monitoring than a basic sedan. As gifted women, our emotional dashboards are equally complex, and we likely need to check them more frequently. (No ODB2 scanner required.)
Daily Gauge Checks
Energy levels: Am I running on fumes or feeling steady?
Emotional temperature: Am I running hot, or maintaining within my normal operating range?
Processing capacity: Am I handling my usual mental load, or feeling overwhelmed?
Social battery: Do I need solitude to recharge, or connection to refuel?
Warning Signs That Demand Immediate Attention
Increased sensitivity to sound, light, or social interaction
Difficulty making decisions that usually come easily
Feeling emotionally numb or conversely, overwhelmed by every feeling
Impatience or irritability that threatens to erupt at someone or something important
Physical symptoms: headaches, tension, disrupted sleep
Loss of joy in activities that typically energize or soothe you
Close-Interval Maintenance: The Art of Frequent Check-Ins
When your high-performance engine is under stress, you don't wait for the regular 3-month, 3,000-mile service. You check more frequently, adjust more readily, and respond to smaller signals before they become major problems.
Morning Diagnostics — Start each day with a brief internal scan. How's your emotional oil level? What does your energy gauge read? What kind of fuel do you need today—solitude, creativity, movement, connection?
Midday Recalibration — Take a few minutes around midday to reassess. Has anything shifted? Do you need to adjust your evening plans based on how the day is unfolding? Do you need to add something supportive, or release or reschedule something demanding?
Evening Reflection — What worked today? What drained you faster than expected? What do you need to adjust for tomorrow?
The Gifted Woman's Maintenance Toolkit
For the Overactive Mind
Journaling to download racing thoughts and put them away.
Meditation or mindfulness practices tailored to your attention style.
Engaging in complex activities that require full focus (puzzles, coding, art).
Physical exercise to burn off mental energy.
For Emotional Intensity
Creative expression that matches your emotional state.
Time in nature to regulate your nervous system. The less structure, the better. (Go feral.)
Therapy or counseling, especially with someone who understands giftedness, to normalize this.
Music that either matches or soothes your emotional state.
For Social Overwhelm
Clear boundaries around social commitments and be in control of your own “out.”
Scripts for declining invitations gracefully.
Alone time scheduled like important appointments to recover.
Comfortable environments for balance, where you can be authentically yourself.
For Perfectionist Tendencies
"Good enough" mantras and practices. (Ask a friend.)
Time limits on projects to prevent endless tweaking and rework.
Celebrating progress over perfection.
Remembering that your worth isn't tied to your output.
Running “Hot” Isn't a Flaw—It's Your Nature
The most important thing I've learned about being a gifted woman and navigating difficult seasons is this: Running hot isn't a design flaw. High-performance engines are supposed to generate more heat, process fuel more efficiently, and respond more sensitively to changes in conditions. The key isn't to cool down, or slow down to match everyone else—it's to honor your nature while providing yourself the specialized care you need. (We can’t expect most people to always understand, or (worse) to take care of us, as we are adults.)
When September arrives now, I don't brace myself for impact. I prepare like the thoughtful owner of a precision instrument. I check my levels, pack extra supplies, monitor my gauges, and adjust my route as needed. I've learned to see my intensity, and my vulnerability to “spills” if crossed in exactly the right way, not as something to manage down (or past), but as something to manage well.
Your gifted mind and heart aren't too much—they're exactly what they need to be. They just need a driver who understands what she's working with and isn't afraid to pull over for maintenance checks when the terrain gets extra. High-performance vehicles aren't meant to be parked in the garage, or trotted out only for things that are special or deserving. They're meant to navigate whatever road lies ahead—even the tough stuff—they just need the right kind of care to be supported to do it brilliantly.